THANKS TO OUR CLIENT KASPERSKY LAB,
IDENTITY THIEVES AND HACKERS SPEND
THEIR DAYS IN UNEMPLOYMENT LINES.
EXCEPT, OF COURSE, THE ONES WE HIRE.

PRETTY SURE OUR FAITHFUL 11-YEAR
RELATIONSHIP WITH YAHOO! WOULD BE
CONSIDERED A COMMON LAW MARRIAGE
IN SOME STATES. PLEASE SEND PRESENTS.

YOUR SON’S ONLINE GAMING ADDICTION
IS ONLY AS UNHEALTHY AS BEATLEMANIA.
JUST ASK TOM SMITH, SPOSTO PARTNER
AND LEVEL 85 WORGEN FURY WARRIOR.

SINCE WE BEGAN WORKING WITH NIKON,
EVERY DESIGNER IN OUR SHOP SHOOTS
EXCLUSIVELY ON NIKON CAMERAS.
EXCEPT KYLE. HE’S UP FOR REVIEW.

SLIDE-INS. FLY-OUTS. PUSH-DOWNS.
OVERLAYS. THE WEB CAN TAKE
YOUR BRAND IN NEW DIRECTIONS.
WE’LL BE YOUR NAVIGATOR.

DEAR FOOD NETWORK: WE’VE BEEN
WORKING REALLY HARD FOR YOU LATELY.
PLEASE SEND GIADA DE LAURENTIIS TO
COOK US DELICIOUS ITALIAN FOOD.

THE AVERAGE AMERICAN CHECKS THEIR
EMAIL 6 TIMES A DAY AND TEXTS ABOUT
TWICE AS MUCH AS THEY MAKE PHONE
CALLS. TTFN, SWEET TALK.

WE’D LOVE TO HELP OUT WITH YOUR NEXT
PROJECT. TRUTH IS, WE NEED THE CASH
TO PAY FOR JIM SPOSTO’S SKYROCKETING
INSURANCE SINCE HE BOUGHT A PLANE.

THERE ARE TWICE AS MANY WEB PAGES AS
HUMANS. WE’VE BEEN CONTRIBUTING SINCE
THERE WAS ONE PAGE FOR EVERY 300 HUMANS—
15 HUMAN YEARS IF YOU’RE KEEPING TRACK.